Barriers to Leaving

Worried woman with cancer cradles her child

Whether they decide to remain with their abusive partner or leave, it is important to plan for safety.

It is a myth that people don’t leave violent relationships. Many leave an average of five to seven times before they are able to leave permanently. Women are in greater danger from their partner’s abuse when they leave. Only they can decide what is best for them and their children.

When we hear a story of a women who had her arm broken, why do we ask “why does she stay” and not “Why did he do that?”

  • Fear they will be beaten more severely if they take action.
  • Threats to kill or harm them , their children, and other family members.
  • Dependency on their partner for shelter, food, and other necessities.
  • Isolation (no one understands and believes them).
  • Believe children need two parents, and don’t want to raise them alone.
  • A desire to keep the family together and live up to your religious commitment to remain with your partner.
  • Fear they won’t be able to take care of themselves and their children alone.
  • Their partner has threatened to commit suicide if they leave.
  • Believe that things will get better
  • Believe that no one else will love you.
  • Fear of rejection by family and friends.
  • Feel ashamed, embarrassed, and humiliated and don’t want anyone to know what is happening.
  • Think others will believe that you are stupid for staying as long as you already have.
  • Fear that you will be deported or that your children will be taken out of the country.
  • If they are in a same sex relationship, they may fear they will be “outed” or that no one will believe them.
  • That he is violent with me, but is a good father. Children & DV
  • Pets in Crisis